


gon barks in an IKEA asmr (gone wrong)

by lemon_lullabies



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, Modern AU, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27457720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_lullabies/pseuds/lemon_lullabies
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.Based on a true story from my childhood. Love you, Mom! I'm sorry for all the pain I put you through.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Mito Freecs
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	gon barks in an IKEA asmr (gone wrong)

**Author's Note:**

> me? publishing two fics in one day? yeah... i'm in the zone, i guess you could say. back at it again with another crack fic treated seriously. enjoy <3

Even as a child, Gon was filled with an insatiable wanderlust. Could you blame him, really, when everything about the world was just so fascinating? The colors, the scents, the sounds of everyday life – they all piqued his interest. Chasing after butterflies and bumblebees was instinctual. Wandering over to the retention pond behind his house to admire the ducks and geese was second nature. There was simply so much to explore and not enough time to do so.

Suburban life was simple and quiet for a boy like Gon. His neighbors were mostly retired elders, anyway, so it’s not like he had many options when it came to playtime. He quickly learned that his imagination was his best friend. He could make anything delightfully fun if he set his mind to it.

Mito, luckily, was understanding of his predicament. With no friends his age, he had to make due, and Mito wasn’t going to stop him from having his fun. They lived in a small house on a cul-de-sac, surrounded by neighbors who thought of Gon as their own grandson. She never felt worried about Gon’s safety so long as he stayed within their street, and so he ran wild all day, every day. Honestly, that boy had more energy than should be allowed.

The worst thing about being a single mom, Mito reflects, is having to bring Gon along with her everywhere she goes. Theoretically, she could hire someone to look after him during the day or ask a neighbor for help, but money was tight, and her pride was steadfast. Mito loved having Gon around, of course. He was a sweet thing and always willing to help. The problem was his tendency to wander off. In a store setting, the last thing Mito wants to deal with is a missing child.

After two mishaps at the local grocery store – both times in which she had to contact an employee and get them to make an announcement – she decided to invest in something she had been skeptical about in the past: a child leash.

She hated to curb Gon’s curiosity, and she was not oblivious to the judgement she would receive for her actions, but it seemed as though she had no other option. The best part? It actually worked. No more embarrassed shuffles towards underpaid workers, bashfully admitting she had lost her child. Grocery runs were no longer a nightmare. Random errands no longer plagued her mind.

Of course, good things never seemed to last.

In one of his recent escapades, Gon had broken the shelving unit in his bedroom. His panic-induced rambling was barely coherent, but the gist of it was this: Gon had been pretending he was a momma frog, and his stuffed animals were his babies. But he was being chased by an evil man who wanted to take his babies away! Of course, he couldn’t let that happen. And so he jumped from his bed to the shelving unit, carrying his stuffed animals in the hood of his jacket. He had underestimated the distance, grabbing the edge of the shelves to steady his fall. The shelves were not prepared for his assault. They tumbled over, breaking apart.

Miraculously, Gon wasn’t hurt. Somehow, he never seemed to injure himself, no matter how extreme his adventures. The shelving unit was not so lucky. It had been a cheap one, anyway. They would just have to get him a new one, as long as Gon promised he would stop jumping on furniture. He reluctantly agreed to her terms.

A few days later, Mito took Gon on the 30-minute drive to the nearest IKEA. Boy, was she glad to have bought that leash. IKEA was a nightmare for any parent, full of twists and turns and plenty of distracting things to play with. With Gon especially, this would not be fun. Alright, Mito, pull yourself together. You can do this.

With that positive affirmation, she exited the car, making sure Gon’s leash was secured tightly before entering the abyss.

Finding a cheap enough shelving unit was not too difficult, although there were many times in which she had to tug on the leash to stop Gon from wandering off. This child may very well be the death of her. With all her items in tow, she marched towards the check-out line, pointedly ignoring the scandalized stares of other shoppers. She’d like to see THEM try to raise Gon.

Tragically, the line was quite long. Only one register was open, so all of the white suburban mothers with their fancy strollers and permed hair were clumped together impatiently. What a joy. She fell into the back of the line halfheartedly.

Things were going exceedingly well. The other mothers had stopped giving her scathing looks five minutes ago, and she was two more customers away from checking out. And that was when everything went to shit.

Quite suddenly, without any warning, Gon dropped to the floor, crawling around on all fours. And then he started barking. Like a dog. In front of everyone.

All eyes were on them, but at this point, Mito was too exhausted to care.

“Gon,” she hissed, tugging gently on the leash, “come on, get up!”

“Woof woof!!!”

Oh, whatever. There was no way she could be more embarrassed, anyway. Best to let him do what he wants.

It didn’t stop her from being mortified.

Gon continued to imitate a dog until they reached the front of the line, where he abruptly stood up to ask Mito if he could hand over the money. Sure, Gon. I give up.

Mito never used the leash again.

**Author's Note:**

> i shared this childhood story with a group of friends and they kin assigned me gon. this is the result.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this trash.


End file.
